


Silence

by lancelitttle (lancelot2point0)



Category: BBC Merlin, Merlin (TV), Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancelot2point0/pseuds/lancelitttle
Summary: Category: gen ; Mercelot background vibes tho.Characters : Merlin, Gwaine, Gwen, ArthurSummary : a little look into the three or four days immediately after Lancelot walked through the veil.
Relationships: Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings : heavy angst, blood mention
> 
> A/N : Sorry. This just happened. I was meaning to write an angsty fix it, and then this happened. This is not a fix it.

The journey back was difficult, to say the least. Difficult was almost an insulting way to describe it, Gwaine thought, when the heaviness that settled over them felt like it would crush them at any given moment.

He had come to and seen Merlin drop to the ground, nearly the exact same way he had at Samhain. Gwaine couldn't get there in time to catch him, but then he didn't think he would need to be the one to catch him. That was what Lancelot did.

Merlin's hands were bloodied and his face was streaked with tear tracks and smeared blood from where he had swiped furiously at the offending liquid.

When Gwaine called his name, Merlin had opened his eyes. They were completely devoid of life and it had scared him. Gwaine began to ask what happened, and Merlin croaked out a "He's gone", he sounded as if his throat was raw.

Gwaine had helped Merlin to stand again when Arthur came to. He opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut when Gwaine glared at him.

The two day ride back to Camelot was unnaturally silent. Merlin did not speak and none of the knights had the heart to ask him exactly what had happened. Even Arthur, for all that he took pleasure in getting a rise out of Merlin, let him be.

Now as they rode through the entrance of the citadel the silence they had carried began to spread. The entire party had the appearance of those returning from the dead. They had barely slept or eaten on the way back, and the presence of a riderless horse told the people what the knights could not bring themselves to utter.

There was no feast of triumph that night. The knights spent the evening seeking solace on their own. Percival went out to the forest, Elyan exchanged his cape and armour for his traveling clothes and made himself invisible among the people in the lower town. Leon busied himself with reorganising the armory and Gwaine went to find the most obscure tavern he could, where he spent the night nursing a single tankard of ale. Arthur saw to his father, and spent several hours pacing in his chambers before going to Gauis' quarters.

He had wanted to speak with Merlin, but Gauis told him Merlin was very clearly not here, and refused to say more on the matter. When Arthur made no movement to leave Gauis handed him a mortar and pestle and told him a smooth paste was needed.

Merlin had disappeared nearly instantly. Gwen found him in Lancelot's room.   
He was slumped forwards, staring out of the window. Lancelot's sword was resting on the table and the knight's cape was hanging on its hook.

Although he didn't turn, Gwen saw Merlin stiffen as she entered the room. He slumped again as he recognised her footsteps. Gwen set the basket she was carrying on the table as she passed it, careful not to disturb the sword. When she finally stood next to Merlin he turned to look at her.

"Gwen, he's - I couldn't - ."

In a swift second she gathered Merlin into her arms, as she settled on the chair next to him.   
They stayed like this for some time, Gwen gently carding her fingers through his hair as he cried.  
When his tears had run out, she took him by the hand and led him to the table.

"Just one, and then we can lie down,"

She handed Merlin an orange segment and set a cup of water on the table. He ate mechanically, barely wincing at the orange which Gwen knew to be far too sour for his liking. He managed half of the water.

Understanding this was the most he would manage, Gwen took his hand again and they walked to the bed.

Merlin had already kicked off his shoes and his jacket was draped over the back of the chair he had been sitting on. Familiarity and habit; Gwen knew.

When they reached the bed Merlin curled himself into a ball in the middle and Gwen wrapped herself around him.

* * *

Arthur decided the memorial would be held the very next day.

The cape and sword that were burned did not belong to Lancelot. The sword was from the blacksmith's apprentice and had a slight warp in it. Not so much that one would immediately notice it, but enough so that it could not be used in a fight. The cape was one of Arthur's.

The knights knew they had brought back their friend's cape and sword, yet they were nowhere to be found. Merlin had shrugged and turned away too quickly when he was asked, and no one thought to ask Gwen.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to write, although it took on a life of its own and ended up quite the opposite of what I originally intended.  
> I'd love to know what you thought of it, so feel free to comment or come visit me on tumblr @lancelitttle (main) or @twosidesofthesameidiot (BBCM sideblog).


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